I wrote about being socially active online before. It’s much easier to make friends online because it’s easier to connect, cheaper to maintain, and there’s no awkward face-to-face meetings. On the other hand, making friends offline (as in reality) requires interpersonal skill, much preparation where first impression (i.e. look) counts, and in some cases, money (ie. buy lunch, dinner, or a gift). It’s no wonder most people, including myself, are easily drawn into socializing online. The technology is there with Facebook and Twitter to make it easier than ever.
I read an article by Hal Niedzviecki when he invited his Facebook friends to a party and had only one person show up. It’s a poignant look of having “online friends”. How many of us actually have the nerve to invite our online friends to a party, where we can all meet face-to-face? I have to expect the worse.
Then I read Catherine Smith’s post on The Change Blog about the dangers of virtual living. She correctly points out that we still have a need to stay real, and not be fooled by the illusion of being able to build relationships online. I can pretend that I’m content with my “cyber-friends”, but at the end of the day, that feeling of emptiness still lingers.
Having that face-to-face connection and a meaningful relationship, not just casual ones, are important. It doesn’t matter how many Twitter followers I have. It doesn’t matter how many LinkedIn connections I’ve made. How many people invited me to their house lately? How many people showed up for my birthday lunch? How many people will offer help when there’s trouble in my life? If the answer is “not many”, then I’m spending way too much time online. I need to stay offline more, and make real friends.
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Most people appear wittier and more intelligent while online. I think that’s because we can google more info on something before we actually “say” it online. We also have more time to compose thoughts.
Real-life interaction is a completely different game fraught with the indirect communication of body language, verbal inflection, possibly pheromones, and cultural habits.
It’s much easier to be cool online than in person.
You’re absolutely correct with your observation. Having the power of Google gives us the edge in a conversation. Perhaps it’s the allure of that “smartness” draws us closer to our online friends.
That reminds me, another reason for dreading conversation in person: Moments of silence. I can imagine the scenes from the The Office tv show.
Yeah, there are no uncomfortable silences while online. There are anxious silences such as in long-distance relationships over IM.
I think the online lure has something to do with a sense of intimacy. Strangers are allowed deeper into one another’s lives because they are not physically present. Twitter presents others with our innermost thoughts — thoughts that we might not otherwise say out loud in physical conversation.
At heart, we are all voyeurs.
Periapex´s last blog post..Sound of Music in Toronto.
Hey Rudy,
With a new blog plus reading other blogs and getting to know other bloggers, plus trying to learn about blogging, plus keeping up with the news, politics, and email, I can understand how one can get sucked into spending way too much time on line. I think your post is very important, and the last paragraph is really the most critical to remember.
I just try to live by Family First, and everything else in moderation. And I guess I’d add always make time for your real friends.
~ Steve, aka the trade show guru
Trade Show Guru´s last blog post..Trade Show Secrets
Hey Steve,
We get so much busier online these days, alright. There are just so much information to be absorbed, I’m always tempted to just veg out in front of the computer and read all day. Amazing, I use to hate reading textbooks when I was in school. Now I’m just sponging them up. Connecting with people, like blogging or Twittering, have a lot to do with it.
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